Willing to do the Work

I remember talking to a woman one day about self work (i.e., working on yourself to make yourself a better person). She had asked me, if doing self work makes you a better person, why don't more people do it, and I replied "because it is hard, and few people are willing to do anything that is hard."

The same can be said about relationships. Most people want a ready made relationship, with everything just right. The problem is, good relationships don't just happen. They take time and work, and, again, few people are willing to do the work. Every relationship has peaks and valleys, and even plateaus (which is where, I believe, my last relationship was before Paul gave up and left). Bringing it to the next level takes work on both sides, meaning it needs input and on going communication. If problems are not brought out into the open and discussed, they fester and grow within the person who feels them until they seem like they are out of control, which makes it seem easier to just give up.

I am back to working on one of the most important relationships – the one with myself. I am willing to admit that I probably got into the last relationship too soon – I was starting to do some really good work on myself, and let it go for the most part once I got involved. And I know that once in a relationship (particularly one entered into too soon) it is very hard to make the time to do that important self work. I had worked on it in patches, here and there. Funny thing, too, that I started to work on myself again one week before the break up, because I was well aware of what I was becoming. And I am proud to say that I am continuing that work, in spite of (or maybe because of) the breakup that left me devastated. I am picking myself up and continuing on, and that is something I am going to continue. Perseverance, I realize, is one of my better traits; I just need to remind myself of it every once in a while.