Where I’m From

The place where I moved her from, the houses have front porches. Not the front porches you find in the McMansions, tacked onto the house to make it resemble Americana, made to look like the people inside actually spend time there, when everyone knows they spend their time inside watching television in air-conditioned comfort, when they're not at the malls.

No, these are real front porches. My best friend has a wrap around porch. On summer nights when I have visited, we've eaten meals on that porch, and sat out on the rockers in front and talked until late into the night. There is something real about those conversations, about that way of life. There is something real about those people. Yes, they are not all perfect, but there is something to be said about people who don't really care about what's popular – the latest fashion or technology. They care about each other.

My best friend is very caring, very real. She has been my best friend since I was 13, which means we've been friends for nearly 40 years. She has always been there for me, knowing what to say when I'm down; well, just knowing the right thing to do.

And so, when she suggested I come back to visit this summer to heal after the last breakup nearly tore me apart, I knew what I needed to do. First, I planned a visit. Then I decided on much more. She has been trying to get me back there for so long (even when I was married and couldn't move from the state!) And now that I don't have anything holding me here at all, I am going back this summer, to move, and, hopefully, to stay.

Some part of me has known all along that this is where I belong. When I dream about where I would like to be, this place has always been a part of my dreams. I've nearly lost that dream several times because I traded my dream for someone else's. But I've never completely given up. Something has always held me there, pushed me, guided me. In fact, that's exactly how I feel – guided back by some unseen force. I think this is what everything I've been doing has been leading up to.

I'm going home.