I know I probably shouldn't have done it, but curiosity got the better of me tonight. I found out something I didn't want to know. I found out that Paul left me to start dating someone else.
I was ready to give him the benefit of the doubt. I started thinking about recent events and figured that maybe he broke up with me because he was trying to protect me (it's difficult to explain, but he has said quite a few times that he was concerned that his mother would take advantage of me, and since we got to know each other, he had become more and more concerned). I figured this because everything between us was fine – he was warm and loving as he always had been until Halloween weekend when we visited his family. My visiting his mother upset him, but he never really said more about it. Then the sudden break up two weeks later. It was the only thing I could think of as causing the 180 degree turnaround so quickly.
But now I found out this. At least I know that I am better off without him. I just thought he was a better man. He really had me fooled for so long. I said before that karma is a bitch, and I think that while this hurts me now, it will hurt him for much longer. It's sad knowing that until he sees this type of relationship addiction that he has for what it is, he will probably go through life moving from one unsatisfying relationship to the next. I have to remember that this is no longer part of my life; I am moving on and will continue to work on myself (which, yes, means I have to focus on myself and stop focusing on him). At least I can learn from this, and, hopefully, not get involved ever again with someone with the same sort of issues.
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