Friends and Family

After I finished my conversation with my mother last night, I sat for a moment and cried quietly. Then when I pulled myself together and came back to the family room, my son could see I had been crying. He asked if there was anything wrong; if my mother and I had an argument or something. I told him, no; I was crying because I realized how supportive she was of me, and how good it was to have family in my life. One more way to process this whole thing, I guess.

It got me thinking how lucky I am. When this breakup happened, I went immediately to my best friend and my family for support. Although they are hundreds of miles away physically, emotionally and spiritually they are right here with me, buoying me up, holding me until I can make it again.

My ex boyfriend doesn't have that same support. That seems so sad to me. His family is physically closer, but when it comes to support in a situation like this, well, they're not really there for him. He couldn't even spend Thanksgiving with them in spite of the fact they are only a 2 hour drive, because of the ongoing fight between several family members.

And friends – well, maybe he has some at work, but he has told me himself, he's not too close to them. No life long best friends who he can call and talk to. The only long term friend he has (besides me, and obviously that connection is lost) is his last wife and I'm sure she won't exactly be a sympathetic ear for this situation.

I know men deal with breakups differently than women, but I would think they need someone to talk to at some point. And it made me realize that this was at least one of the reasons he goes from one relationship to another. Because the next relationship gives him a new person to confide in when he's burned all his old bridges. And I never realized until last night how unfortunate and sad but true that is.

I was thinking all along that he was the lucky one, being able to make this decision to break up and move on, when here I am, all the more fortunate to have support to help me move on, and grow and change and bend as a flower towards a brighter day tomorrow.