I know it hasn't been a long time since the break up, and I should take it easy on myself. But I have to wonder- what is wrong with me? No, not what is wrong with me meaning why did he leave me. But what is wrong with me still hanging on, and not letting go yet. I mean, this wasn't the greatest relationship, and I know as soon as I let go I will see how much better things can be for me. So why am I holding on?
Evenings are tough. Maybe it was the scheduled calls, which, after a while, felt like just that. Nothing there emotionally from his end,; just the need to fulfill a promise, so he continued to call. And obviously he was not interested, but not strong enough to say anything. That was one thing I disliked the most – that there was this total lack of honesty. I guess what I was hurt by the most was the deception. At this point I don't know what was real and what was a convenient lie, just to make things seem as if they were okay.
This is the reality of how things really were, and maybe I need to face that in order to move on.
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