Unintentional

I was bopping around web sites, which is something I do when I am supposed to be doing those things I despise (like cleaning the floor or organizing the materials for my class) when I came across something about dating for older people. One line in particular jumped out at me. It was about dating too soon after ending a long term relationship, and what it said was that many of us, out of loneliness, get involved too soon and may unintentionally hurt the person we are with.

The key word was unintentionally. The hurt inflicted is not planned; it is not out of malice. It is unintentional. That opened my eyes. Sure, I knew that it wasn't wise to get into a relationship so soon after the end of another, which is what I did last year, and why I am not getting involved with anyone in the near future.

But the concept of someone, such as the last person I was with, not being aware that they were hurting another because it was too soon for them, too, that the hurt was unintended – well that just made me more open to forgiveness. I am not saying that I thought that the break up was intentional. But I think because it happened so quickly, which is why it hurt so much – I don't know how to explain it, but I think on some level I believed there was this immaturity or this mean-spiritedness to the whole thing that may have been inherent in the other person. This new thought, however, puts my thoughts on a whole different track.

It really does feel like the first step towards forgiveness.