Silence that Speaks Volumes

Okay, I know I shouldn't say this, but I've really got to get this off my chest (and what a chest –wakka, wakka!) Anyway, I decided to send a little email note to my last boyfriend to show that, in my own way, I'm willing to admit that I have been a jerk about politics, and I'm showing that I'm changing my ways. And all I expected was a little note back – just a "thanks" would have been nice. Even just an "okay." But I got…nothing.

Now, its possible that his work email was changed, but would they really go through all that trouble because of his break up (at least for this break up, because I now know that the relationship with the person that it was so important for him to leave me for is now over – more on that later). I guess I just expected someone who is over me to be classy enough to just acknowledge me. I guess I was expecting too much.

As for the last relationship – well, I didn't really want to get into it here, but now I can say that I was aware that he was looking for and/or already involved with someone else before he left me – 2 weeks before he left me, which was also the about the time he was still hugging and kissing me in the rain, still reaching out for my hand. I am hoping (I'll admit) that the last girl was smart and left him (like I should have). In my imagination (and probably in the movie script that I will write), she left him with the name of a good therapist and a check to pay for the first few sessions so he could deal with the issues with his mother and learn to let go of his marriage and his last girlfriend (because, if our relationship was any indicator, I am sure he talked to her endlessly about our relationship, just as he talked to me endlessly about his past relationships. Sometimes it felt like his ex-wife and all his ex-girlfriends were in the room).

Anyway, I feel better already saying this. The thing is, I am not interested in continuing a relationship with him – I was just being nice so I could move on, because I feel that there really is something better ahead. When I do get sad about the breakup, I remind myself of this, and tell myself that staying stuck here rather than looking forward is sort of like pining for John C. Reilly when I've got George Clooney to look forward to!