Doing the Best They Can

I have so much to write, and I have been thinking about writing this post since I was inspired by a few things I read, so I wanted to make sure I got this into words. I was doing my reading – the reading I do for my self work – and two readings inspired me.

The first was about someone learning that they were being too critical of other people when their sibling told them "they're doing the best they can." I can be that critical person. I try to keep it positive, but people get on my nerves for insignificant little things, and I am the first to criticize about something that, were I to find someone said the same about me, would make be feel hurt. I think I got this reading at just the right time – it was something I should think of every day.

The second reading had to do with someone who didn't know what they liked or didn't like because, as a child, all their choices were made for them – what to eat, what to wear, what to think. This made me aware of something that my last boyfriend and I shared in common. I have talked about being annoyed by the fact that I had no choice when it came to what we would watch on TV because he controlled the TV. I had said this was a personality issue he had. Yes, I can say it was an issue, but this reading made me more fully aware of why he did it, and put me in a place to be more forgiving. You see, I realized that his making such strong choices was because he was not able to make them as a child (or even in his last marriage, from what he told me.) This was his own way of saying "this is who I am" and I have to respect that, now that I realize where it came from.

I do remember when we were together, I had asked him to turn the thermostat down in the hotel room that we were in, and he told me he wasn't sure if he would do it correctly, because he was never allowed to do it before. He said everyone else told him he did it wrong. I thought that was so sad – how wrong could it be if it was just a little colder or warmer than you like it? It's no wonder that he had to put his foot down in other ways (such as controlling the TV).

I think the first step in forgiveness is understanding, and I am beginning to understand a lot more. This helps as I move on with my life.