We had had this discussion once, about people with nice jobs, good salaries, etc. Someone he knew wondered why the boss deserved to have this top job; what had he done to earn this? I knew the answer: he had worked hard for it, put in the hours, done the work that many of us would be unwilling to do. He got that prize reserved for those few who put in the extra effort.
Several weeks ago, someone else, in another place had mentioned how hard it is to find someone willing to do the work. He was talking about the internal work – the work on oneself that I have been talking about.
Trading one person for another because you feel the grass is greener somewhere else doesn't always bring about the desired result. Others may be different, but few (who are available) are emotionally healthy and/or better than the person you've just left. I know this from experience. Some can appear better, and can do a very good job convincing others that they are this happy, healthy person. The man who stalked me for several years was just such a person. He even had the hostess at the restaurant where we were supposed to meet convinced he was a total gentleman when he called to let me know he would be late. It was months later that I realized I how unhinged he was.
I am not getting involved in another relationship right now, because I don't think I'm ready. I want to be the one who does the hard work – the internal work. When the better relationship comes along, the good relationship that I deserve – I want to be ready.
No comments:
Post a Comment