Where are All the Emotionally Healtthy Men At?

First I didn't write on my site for a while, because I had given up on men. Then I went back to dating, and didn't write because I thought I found someone who was actually emotionally healthy. And then, today, I found out he wasn't

He pursued me almost frantically for over a week. Even when we started to see each other, he wanted to see me more, and contacted me continuously. This wasn't over a long period of time, mind you. Just a few short weeks, but the pursuit was intense, and it came primarily from him.

We spent several hours together yesterday, just playing cards and talking, and flirting. I did kiss him, but in the context of situation (without giving away the focus of his conversation), that did not seem like a big deal. I think I even asked about things (us) and how this seems to be going forward, right? And without a beat, he said something to the effect of "of course."

Something, though, told me not to stop and introduce him to people in my apartment who were outside when we went walking, because a part of me sensed he would be like the others; he wouldn't stay around. I knew, too, not to mention something today to my best friend. I don't know why, but I just knew.

The message from him today, though, was still like a punch in the gut when I read it. I tried to draw on all that I have learned about emotional intelligence and make sure that if I made a choice to respond, it would come through my heart. But (or maybe because of this) I had to tell him, I was hurt, even though I knew enough to let go with grace. I had to put it out there.

So, I let go. And I decided to stop dating, because I was tired of getting hurt. And here's the deal, the takeway, what I learned from this. The biggest issue with dating sites is this. People fall in love with what they expect you to be from what they see in your picture and your profile. But when they meet the real flesh and blood person, the person who may not speak or look as perfectly as you expect them to, who might not be the ideal you have  built up in your head - well, then they bail. Does it matter? You were only a profile after all to them. You weren't actually a real person.