I've been talking about what I learned from the last relationship (okay, some of my family would probably call it a hook up, but I think a relationship does not have to be long term, and can last an hour, a day, a week. etc., so I deem this a relationship.) What I learned is this: I am much more comfortable now with my body and how I express myself in a more sexual manner, and that is not bad.
I'll admit that I refer to this as my "last" relationship (as opposed to my "last relationship" :) because I think - I hope - that it is over. Is that bad? The further I got away from it with all the busy stuff in my life, the more I realized this was not going to last long.
Often, I will refer to relationships that are based on, well, sex, as being like dessert. They are fun, but you can't survive on them. This was like a marshmallow peep. Lots of fun that was quickly burned off. I would feel really bad about myself if I was upset that this was over. It was just fluff; just fun. Nothing else.
Well, one thing else. It made me feel alive, made me feel like I am a wonderfully, beautiful person, no matter what size I am. I don't doubt that it instilled a bit more confidence in me that allowed me to talk to the men at the conference in a calm, secure way, because I did not feel less than. I was...I am...someone intelligent,. creative and talented. I don't need someone else to remind me of that anymore. I am frickin' incredible!
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