It is very easy to play the blame game, and say the other person is completely at fault when a relationship ends. But I try to be honest (I try!) and if I am honest, I know that I contributed. A lot had to do with my trust issues, although I thought that I was clear about having them, and tried to be clear about what I needed to help me (making a point of talking at a specific time, for example, and keeping one's promises.)
But the biggest issue was that I wanted to believe. He would say we were going to do this and that, and I wanted to believe. He would say he was going to come out and see me more, and I wanted to believe.
The thing is, he wanted to believe, too, but couldn't see that he kept making promises he couldn't keep. Denial is a bitch, and it would be so easy if I could say to him 'you're in denial about this, or that" and he would say 'oh,okay, I understand." Unfortunately, denial is something happening on a subconscious level, so we are not even aware of what is happening.
I want to believe that this has been an eye-opening learning experience for me, because I want to continue to get better and grow. Hopefully, I'm not in denial.
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