January and Cold

It is in the teens outside today. Fitting for the first week in January. I am plodding along, trying to focus on work, working towards getting my mind off the fact that a short week ago I was wondering if I would be putting my dog to sleep soon, then dealing with the aftermath of having to do just that.

One advantage of all this is that I no longer have to deal with the early morning and late evening walks, bundling up and bracing for the cold, then shivering as my dog took his time sniffing around each snow drift. I would pull him forward, trying to get him to do his business so we could get back into the warm apartment.

Towards the end (the last few months), I allowed him more time to sniff (I would call them his "sniffy" walks.) It was one of the few pleasures he had, as his appetite was waning and he had such a difficult time walking. In the last week or so, he wouldn't walk as far, but would stop, raise his head and sniff, as if he was drawing in those smells from where he stood. I watched him, and in the last days, I wondered if he knew he didn't have much more time, and this was his way of taking in everything, just one more time before he left this earth.

I wish we could all be like that. I wish that I could stop grousing about the cold weather, and, instead, appreciate the rays of sun penetrating through the thin clouds coating the frigid blue sky. Who knows how many more days I have, how many more days any of us have? Perhaps we should, like Shep, learn to appreciate what is here, now, and take a moment to sniff the air.