Forget About It!

I have mentioned before that the person from my last serious relationship was obsessive, but sometimes I think I have him beat in that area. Well, his obsessiveness would be about certain things or routines that needed to be done in a certain way, at a certain time.

For me, it is obsessing about people, and why they act the way they do. Take, for example, this last person who I have been talking about. While he caught me attention for a short while, overall I really never had a serious interest in him. I am betting if we ever had met, I still would have lost interest quickly. But I obsess over why he disappeared. My thoughts go from the worst case (he was trying to get information from me which I didn't give so he dropped me) to, well, not the best case, but the benign (he changed his mind.)

I am inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt and go with the second one. After all, he and I talked at length over several days and had some good conversations. He revealed personal facts about himself, and seemed very friendly, but not too smooth (as in, this wasn't an act.) What I have come to believe is that he was socially awkward, and just didn't know how to follow through.

All of this is actually helpful for me to take in and process. The old me would think there was something wrong with me and would feel the need to pursue this further. The new me looks at this and thinks "socially awkward doesn't make a person bad, but it just isn't what I am interested in."

So this has been another learning experience, and has been helpful for me. I now know what I want, and I think I am getting closer to it. But I also now know better who I am, and getting to know myself and improve myself is the most important lesson.