"And if the wind is right you can sail away, and find serenity"
I was supposed to go sailing tonight, but serenity was not in the cards for me. Instead, I dealt with someone with a full melt down, panic attack in high gear, that kept me home, making sure nothing dangerous happened.
Does anyone else understand this? Searching for serenity, but only finding this level of unhappiness on a daily basis? I may not have only given up my evening of bliss, but I have concerns about my job as well, and I wonder if my personal life is affecting this. You see, I'm older, and I'm dealing with a lot of "stuff" right now, so, in spite of the fact that students give me high ratings and I get great, positive comments from them in the classroom, I am, on an ongoing basis, made to feel I am not capable of doing my job, My evaluations make me feel as if I am not doing enough, even though I am constantly striving to improve.
Serenity? Maybe not for me. At least, not now.
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