I wanted to write and say "you asshole!" Not to the one who had politely let me know he met someone else. Not him. That was a shoe that I was waiting to drop for weeks. I knew there was no interest on his part, and he was just being polite. And I have to say that waiting for him to say something taught me (or is teaching me) to be patient.
Well, I am trying to be patient, and I will admit that the last (somewhat) relationship came at a time when I needed a respite. And maybe I was pushing it when I started communicating with the next person. But (there's that word I am trying to avoid - but. Because I know everything after that word is bullshit.) But, but, but...damn. I really liked talking with that person. It wasn't for long, but I knew that this is what I want.
I knew that if this didn't last (and, now, it looks as if I am in that position, meaning that it is not lasting), that what we had in our way of communicating for those few short days was what I want in a long term relationship. Sort of like that piece of clothing they give to bloodhounds, this was waved in front of my nose -"here, look for this."
And I expected to not have to look, but to have it here, right here, in this person. Maybe it will happen, although it has been several days since he has been back in touch, and experience has taught me that he probably won't be back
So, yeah, he is the one I wanted to write"asshole"to. But in the interim, someone has contacted me.Someone I would not originally consider (he's moving here from elsewhere; I originally considered him a scammer.) But, but, but...being open and honest, I had to look at this in a different light, and wonder if, maybe,this was a lesson for me to be more open? I'm not saying that he is "the one" but..?
After all, isn't my favorite quote "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans?"
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