Throughout my life, I've heard the term "If you love someone, set them free" thousands of times. When I was younger, I would say, "Okay, I'll try this" but I would die inside as I did it, and then I would feel resentful if they didn't return.
When I got a little older, I would try it, but want it to be on my terms, and would generally try to manipulate them back.
Now, I don't just try it. I live it. I have found when I set someone free, it's because I know that it's not just about wondering whether or not they love me, and needing that love. I love myself enough that I don't need that love, but if it is there, then, okay, that's nice.
It's about how things are supposed to be. If someone is supposed to be with you, they will be. If they are not, setting them free may be the best thing for both of you - you'll both be happier.
Now if I could only get my ex boyfriend to understand that concept...
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Giving Me Hope
The weather forecast is up and down this week. Today it was in the 30's; tomorrow it is supposed to be in the single digits. Then two days after that, it is supposed to be in the 40's.
Such is life. I have been in conversations and, I guess, relationships with several men (including my last boyfriend) that have been also taking that sort of all or nothing pattern. One day I may hear from everyone. Other days - no one. I am learning, though, not to despair. Something always happens, It may not be what I expect, and it may not be the conversation from the person that I think I will be hearing. But something happens.
And one more thing. I am learning that each relationship teaches me something. From this one, I learn to be patient. For that one, I learn not to allow that part of me that wants to enable to take over. And from another, I learn what I want from a man, what I expect to find when I move and begin looking, once again.
Such is life. I have been in conversations and, I guess, relationships with several men (including my last boyfriend) that have been also taking that sort of all or nothing pattern. One day I may hear from everyone. Other days - no one. I am learning, though, not to despair. Something always happens, It may not be what I expect, and it may not be the conversation from the person that I think I will be hearing. But something happens.
And one more thing. I am learning that each relationship teaches me something. From this one, I learn to be patient. For that one, I learn not to allow that part of me that wants to enable to take over. And from another, I learn what I want from a man, what I expect to find when I move and begin looking, once again.
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