Trust and Abandonment Issues

Let me get this out right at the outset - I have trust and abandonment issues, and boy, do they suck! They have this way of showing up at the worst times, and messing with my head. One example I can give would be a situation I am currently dealing with. I started to see someone who is really nice, and who has promised to be honest, and is aware of the issues I've had in the past.

When we are together, things are great. But when we're not together, the issues creep into my head and start whispering things, making me anxious and worried and distrustful. Tonight is a good example. I got home from a fantastic weekend with friends. I had told this guy I would be away, and he was happy for me and hoped that my weekend would go well. As soon as I got back, I wrote him and told him about the weekend. I didn't hear back from him immediately, and started to get concerned. The "issue voices" were saying "he's really not interested in you; he was just saying that to be nice. Don't expect to hear from him again - you know how that goes. Why do you keep expecting anything different?"

Well, of course he won't write right away, and part of me knew that, but part of me needed reassurance. So I checked on something and realized he hasn't been able to read my message, because the last time he was online at the site where we met was several days ago - the last time I wrote him and told him I wrote. He had told me he was hadn't been able to read my messages because he was busy (and I am not surprised - he has a lot going on in his life right now.) But, I guessed, he went back to read what I had written after I mentioned it.So, why don't I call him? The only number that I have right now is his work number (which he has given to me.), and it is Sunday night. Plus, his personal number is marked private on my phone and I respect that (I could see myself doing the same.)

It may seem convoluted, but right now, knowing what I know from our conversations, it makes perfect sense. And it tames the crazy fears that I have. Oh, how I wish I could be done with them once and for all!