Fate, or Something Like That

So at the beginning of the week, I had three men interested in me (well, three online; here in the real world, there was definitely one - the same one who I can't shake off for the life of me - and possibly one or two more.) And then, just like that, the three (online) were gone. Now one of them was understandable - I don't think he read my profile thoroughly enough and missed the part that said I was moving further west next spring. When I mentioned that, "poof" just like that, he was gone.

The second may have left on the same terms; however, I think there may have been a possibility that he was married and lonely (not looking for one of those kinky, online sex relationships, but just conversation with another woman and the opportunity to feel as if someone else was interested in him.) In any case, he disappeared, too.

The third, however, is an enigma. After several weeks of our contacting each other via message, then a phone call, and a number of text messages, we seemed destined to finally meet. I was the first to put the brakes on this idea (for at least a short while longer) because I realized that I was getting caught up in all of this at the same time I was starting a new job and didn't want one to adversely affect the other. But when I raised this concern, his remark was that he would be saddened if we ended up not getting together. So, when I clarified the situation and my concerns, it seemed all was okay. I tried to determine a time when we could meet (because, I felt, that was the logical next step); he, in turn, threw out some excuses. I offered other options; and he, like the others, disappeared.

Now, maybe the moral is not to push, and I know I can be a bit assertive (aggressive?) in this respect. But red flags start popping up in my mind when someone doesn't want to meet in person. Perhaps they are just shy, but experience has taught me that someone who is truly interested overcomes that shyness (my son, who is also dating and is also shy, is a great case in point.) One can only think, then, that the person has something to hide.

I believe when you are in a situation that may not be all that it appears to be, you should let it alone. Oh, yes, you can give the person the benefit of the doubt. But if your gut is telling you something might be wrong, it probably is. We can make choices, but fate (or something like it) is what tells us we're better off letting go and moving on.