I feel as if I have been going through a time of unproductiveness over the past two months. Much of this feeling comes from the fact that I have been without a car, and my finances, which had dipped pretty low, are just now turning around. It has been frustrating for me, to say the least. But I can understand now, as I sense that I am rounding the bend on this period, that this has been a time to regroup and rethink, to prepare myself once again for new growth.
I haven't been completely unproductive. I have actually been learning a great deal. I have learned how to teach two classes simultaneously while working a 40 hour job (not an easy feat!) I have learned to budget a bit better, to let go of those wants while I take care of the more important needs. And I have learned the value of friendship in a relationship.
What is most important about that last item, is that I started to finally feel comfortable in the friendly conversation, the give and take, the jokes, the stories of good days and difficult ones - all this over the physicality that generally propelled the relationships I had been a part of in the past. Not knowing where this friendship was going, whether or not it would lead to something else, or just end, has been scary, but it is a necessary lesson for me. It is good that I have had this time to take it all in and learn. No matter what happens now, I know I've been though something I haven't experienced before, and I know it hasn't been unproductive at all. In fact, I think it is just the beginning of producing a better me.
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