I just got back from a visit out west; my yearly visit that involves attending my work conference, but even more importantly, offers me a chance to spend time with my mother. I wasn't sure what to expect this year. Her husband had just died a few short months ago, and it would be my first time out there since his death.
The day before I arrived, they had held a memorial service for Chuck, and his son stayed on for a few days while I was there. I noticed an ease of manner that he had with my mother, as he tended to all the tasks that needed to be taken care of. I wished I could have done as well taking care of the house, but I was happy he was glad to take all of this on.
I noticed my mother was calmer, too, and we had a very good time spending time together. My mom recently started one little daily habit which made a big difference in our relationship; she would end each day by giving me a hug and telling me she loved me (and I would reciprocate.) I think it might have come about from the realization that life is short. Her husband died, my father had died 20 years before that, and now my mother, who just turned 90, was seriously considering her own mortality (and mine - I know she was relieved when I told her I made it to the conference in one piece.)
This appreciation for life has made an impression on me and made me realize that I don't want to be taken for granted and/or in a relationship where we don't hug and/or express appreciation for each other daily. Life is too short, after all. A hug and an "I love you" take only seconds a day;the effects of this expression of appreciation on one's life is immeasurable.
No comments:
Post a Comment