Several years back, when I was in another relationship, the person I was with almost broke up with me the day before Valentine's Day. I was devasted - what horrible person does this kind of thing? I couldn't even imagine anyone considering this, much less trying to go through with it.
And yet, here I am on Valentine's Day, contemplating whether or not to remain in a relationship. Its not that this person is terrible or mean or a bad person to be with. He is actually very sweet. But he also, ummm...how to put this? He is a bit quirky and has trouble connecting emotionally.
This should not be a surprise to me. I knew about his personality when I first met him. I could deal with the quirkiness then - it seemed almost endearing. But here we are, 4 months later, and he is still having trouble connecting with me. What this means, and what I have the most problem with, is that he cannot remain in my company for more than a couple of hours. He needs to leave. Not that he always has someplace to go - he just needs to leave. It's as if he has allotted a specific amount of time to be with me, and once that time is up, it's up. (I keep wondering if he has a meter running somewhere to let him know.)
And while he has repeatedly told me it has nothing to do with me, it can put a damper on the relationship. It makes me feel less than. And my telling him that goes right over his head. It seems, as it were, "illogical".
So, I have chosen to remain today, and not say a word about my feelings. And I think I will see about taking a few days off and then see how I feel. Maybe I'll feel better. Maybe I'll have the answer. One thing is for certain -I know I will have to chose how to deal with this, because I know he will not change.
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